Sunday, July 25, 2010


I was bored the other night and stumbled upon someone's blog, which wasn't particularly interesting but entertained me anyway. It got me thinking that I should update my blog more often, even when I feel like talking about non-sense.

I figured the first thing I should talk about is what my past year has been like since I never really told anyone in public. I'm one of those people that doesn't like to share too much unnecessary information ("TMI" I like to call it).. Too much information is bad thing, kinda like Mel Gibson. TMI Mel, TMI.. ANYWAYY!

In 2009 I started taking accutane for pimples. If you don't know what accutane is you can google or wikipedia it. It's the strongest drug for acne and is currently the only cure. It's a harsh drug with many bad side effects, all of which I got. If you were wondering why you didn't see me make many clothes last year this is why. I started accutane January 2009 and was on it until October 2009. Yep, pretty much the entire year. Towards the end my doctor finally realized the rash I had on half of my body was not because the accutane dried my skin but because I was ALLERGIC to it. When I told her everytime I took it, it felt like it was killing me I was finally done. Don't get me wrong, I knowingly took it knowing and experiencing the side effects for a purpose- to get rid of acne. Now if you've seen my pictures which are all over the place you'll say "You didn't have acne!". Yes, I did, I sat for hours photoshopping each pimple off my face, my face was not clear. It is now though, thank GOD, I don't have to photoshop anything but the brightness of my picture. haha. Well, for those of you that may be thinking of taking accutane or for those that are interested you can read the next paragraph where I'll talk about my experience or skip it...

My first day of accutane after I took my first dosage, I knew I was on drugs. Accutane isn't a drug where you take it and don't know you're on it. It's a drug where you take it and you're immediately f*&K^d up. No, not like "wheee, I'm in lalaland!" More like "I'm dying. Am I dying? Am I almost dead? Will this be permanent?" DON'T take accutane if you don't have serious acne. Take accutane only if you can read this and still think you need it, haha. So, my third day of accutane after my dose, I got a pounding headache. A pounding so hard I had to hold and compress my skull and yelled for Kris (my boyfriend) to hold the phone because he might have to call an ambulance. The headaches were constant and guess what, I still have them, it's permanent. When I'm in extreme heat I get really horrible migranes. Not just a typical migrane, a huge head pounding "dear god, just take my life already" headache. When I got heat headaches on accutane I would throw up and be sick for at least 3 days. On accutane I became unable to workout. Why? Because my joints and everything were hurting. I told everyone I knew what it felt like to be a 90 year old woman because my knees and hips were terribly painful. YES I GAINED WEIGHT! Obviously you have noticed, I went from extreme workout woman to way more junk in the trunk. If you were wondering, that's what happened. :P I had to use eye drops every day, 3 times a day. I got constant stye's in my eyes (another accutane side effect). A few months in to it, I was sitting on my bed and I thought my neighbors were being robbed. My heart started beating to fast I couldn't stop it. You could literally see my heart pounding through my chest. Kris tried to help me get blood thru my body because I thought I was going to pass out. I now know that was a real panic attack. You haven't really had a panic attack until you've thought you were having a heart attack. haha, I did not know that until then. That's when my doctor took me off 4 pills a day and put me back at 2. Oh and then I had that rash which started on my hand (doctor thought it was dry skin even tho I told her it wasn't) and spread to my leg. When i first started taking accutane I could literally feel things popping inside of me. Don't ask me what it was because I don't know. Even though nooo one I told believed me, I'm telling you that definitely did happen. Well, that's why I was so out of commission last year. haha. Not that's it's funny or anything I tend to laugh at things that shouldn't really be funny.

I also had my first fashion show last year which went horribly. I didn't get credit, no one knew who I was when my models went down the runway and I spent a ton of money to get to it and get a hotel. I wasn't too happy with my clothes because I had to make everything from recycled stuff and the photographer wasn't that great. lmao. I can say that my models were AMAZING though and we all kept each other up even when the shit hit the fan. I'll stay away from the trash talking, I'll just say it was a good learning experience.

Oh and by the way, since I've been off accutane I no longer have acne. ;) I'm back to working out like a crazy person and everything is normal. I just moved into a new place... an old house from the 1930's. It's amazing and I plan to do tons of photoshoots here. What else? Um. I think I've already given my TMI for the day, week and maybe even month. Enjoy my babble and watch out for new clothes!! :D

I was just featured in Alt Noir Magazine, having a fashion show August 12th in Miami and getting ready to take over the fashion world. heehee ^_^

Until next time! xoxo Heather

Friday, July 9, 2010